Monthly Archives: July 2016

How To Enjoy The True Happiness Found in Guilt Free Parenting

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There’s an idea in my profession that PK’s (pastor’s kids) are the worst. That gloomy thought is not the result of a well documented 30 year study but an unfair idea that somebody came up with that went viral.

Imagine nicknaming your kid ‘Bruiser’ just because he’s a big boy. Will he not grow up associating himself with aggressiveness or putting a hurting on others. It’s an unfair, unkindly mark on a kid from the time he is little.

The truth is that parents have no clue how their kids are going to turn out.

There are some parents I know (in and out of ministry) whose kids turned out without a wrinkle.

I also know godly moms and dads (in and out of ministry) who struggle with a false sense of guilt because of their dysfunctional children.

“What happened?” mom sighs. “Are those kids really mine?” Dad asks. “We must have really goofed up along the way” they both cry out in pain.

Parenting is difficult enough but it gets worse when your children’s poor choices become a big pile of regret on your shoulders. God didn’t intend for you to tote that junk around.

So how can a mom or a dad deal with such uneasy painful feelings of false guilt? Perspective!

Pastor or not, if you’re struggling in this area, I want to give you an idea, an angle on parenting that I hope helps transform your mindset. It comes from a true story.

Sometime back a very Godly dad had 2 exemplary children. He provided them with everything they needed: a great place to live, food, and unselfish love. He spent time with them and counseled them on how to enjoy life to the fullest.

But his children rebelled against his advice and acted opposite to his counsel. Sadly, when they went down in a mess they took a whole bunch of others down with them.

You may have guessed that the dad I’m referring to is God… now hang in there with me for a few more moments.

God’s first kids, Adam and Even, messed up when the pair on the ground ate the apple on the tree. And as a result their disobedience was passed on to their kids. Then one day one of them, Cain, killed his brother Abel in anger.

What a heartache and disappointment for the parents!

Now I want to ask you a question which answer may change your life,

Was God a poor daddy to Adam and Eve? The answer is a resounding “NO.” Was He a bad grandpa?” Absolutely not.

God was the perfect Father but He was raising children who leaned towards the wrong… just like you and me.

Let that sink in for a moment. The kids wrongful behavior was not the perfect Dad’s doing.

All I’m saying is that you can be the best mom or dad in the world and yet have children who don’t chose to follow your leading and training. Remember that it also happened to God.

If you gave your children your best don’t let their poor decisions rob you from they joy of guilt free parenting.

Your heart may still hurt as you continue to pray for them and point them in the right direction but guilt should not be part of your equation.

God has a plan. Trust Him. Trust your children to the Lord as well and rest in Him.

How has trusting God helped you in your difficult situations?

 

How To Develop The Right Strategy For Winning At Pokemon Go

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Pokemon bat

Millions are going crazy over Pokemon Go. Even people who say it’s a silly game are hooked and can’t get off it.

The basic thread of the game is for players to go around  looking for virtual creatures called Pokemon in order to capture them. A Pokemon can appear anywhere at any time. The picture above is one I took inside my car (while I was parked) of a Zubat that was flying by the passenger seat.

Pokemon mania is sweeping millions and if you’ve joined the fray I want to share with you two ideas on how to win at Pokemon.

The strategy I’m sharing is not about how to catch the elusive creatures but about how to make the most of your time while hunting them down.

Everything you and I do involves a mindset. You can either go on a Pokemon hunt, spend hours at it, and end up with nothing more than virtual reality monsters stored somewhere in your phone or you can do that and something of value at the same time. I’d rather choose the latter (if I had the hours to give it).  

I heard of a pet shelter who challenged anyone looking for Pokemon in their community that day to walk their pets at the same time. Seventy people responded!

In your brain (and mine) there’s something called the the limbic system. It  interprets the emotional value of incoming stimuli. Depending on the limbic system’s interpretation of the stimuli, it either opens or closes access to the cortical function in the higher parts of the brain. https://www.envisionexperience.com/blog/the-science-of-learning-part-3-how-emotion-and-mindset-affect-learning#sthash.5ouc9g2M.dpuf

I’m not sure what all that means but if you add spiritual stimuli to your Pokemon exercise it can all become a spiritually growing experience.

Pokemon

You’re thinking, “Jorge, have you gone mad? Too many pork rinds finally clogged the blood flow to your cerebrum.” Hear me out.

I challenge you, as you seek out your next Pokemon, keep before you the thought that God wants you to seek Him with all your heart as well. God said, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 NLT)

The repeated idea that seeking God (while you are seeking Pokemon) is important will eventually stick and help you make Him your life’s priority.

Also, what if the next time you catch a Pokemon and experience the thrill of victory, you remember that God wants you to enjoy victories in Christ? Never forget that by faith you are more than a conqueror in anything you face!

Hey, enjoy the virtual reality of Pokemon but pair it up with the continued thought that in real life you are favored by God, loved, and triumphant. From there, a positive outcome will ensue.

Anticipating God’s visible and invisible blessings will keep you excited about the prospect of the future.

God put the idea out there for us to grab and run with: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

As I wrap up this blog I have 2 confessions to make. First, I was not able to catch that Zubat that appeared flying where my wife usually sits. Bummer! Second, I am not addicted to Pokemon Go, in fact I just started playing. But I am addicted to Jesus! He is more exciting that anything virtual out there or anything else for that matter.

What’s your thought on Pokemon Go? Please leave me a comment.

 

How To Be Restored When You Feel Badly Wrecked

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I recently had the experience of restoring my daughter’s smashed-in rear bumper to its original position after a wreck she was involved in. This was done the old fashion way.

We tied the bumper to heavy chain, wrapped the chain to a big tree, and put the car on drive. After three taps, snaps, and a whiplash the job was done.

If you’re like me, sometimes you feel totally wrecked. You may have been on a collision course with someone at work and you finally met head on. Now you’re left with the emotional aches and pains from the encounter. Or you may have crashed right into the midlife crisis wall (as I did when I hit 30) and you realize that age is inevitably creeping up on you and that your dreams may never come to pass. Ouch! I’ve been there.

Feeling wrecked can be attributed to the result of poor choices, life in a bad relationship, and many other things.

The sheer ugliness of being wrecked within is that only you can feel the damage in your soul/heart. You need restoration.

My buddy Dylan owns Big Nasty Motorshop (photo above). He takes vehicles that are messed up or old and faded and with the skill of a plastic surgeon restores them back to amazing.

Being repaired from the inside out is not easy but doable. Here are some tips I’ve found helpful when I’m feeling badly wrecked that may work for you as well.

Get in touch with a true friend.

There are those you call friends that somehow make you feel worse about life. Stay away from them.

True friends, on the other hand, know everything about you and love you anyway. They make you laugh when your world looks bleak.

Someone said that true friends are those who, when you have made a fool of yourself, don’t think you have done a permanent job. Get in touch with a person like that. An unresolved wrecked feeling can lead into despair. Also, and most importantly,

Go to Jesus.

The Lord’s advice for the wrecked is radical,

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out…? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. (Matthew 11:28 The Message)

Jesus is like a huge Rock with a spiritual chain wrapped around to pull out of you whatever mental part of you that has been temporarily damaged.

The Lord is a Master life-craftsman with the tools and the talent. His heavenly shop should be called Big Gentle Restorations and Renewals. He will lovingly bring your mind back to focus and get you going once again. Go to Him with your dented hopes and dreams. One more thing,

Do something good and positive even if you don’t feel like it.

An negative outcome of feeling wrecked is the tendency to become inactive, of feeling that you can do nothing right.

I’ve had cars that were totaled never to be driven again. A couple of other ones were not drivable and in serious need of repair.

Concerning life and feeling down, remember that,

Inactivity because of negativity results in zero productivity (Tweet that). And we are never more miserable than when we feel like junk and of no value to anyone.

Refuse to slump down on your chair thinking, “What’s the use?” Force yourself into doing something that’s worthwhile.

Feeling badly wrecked may be totally normal but remaining that way is entirely unacceptable. Get restored and move forward.

Do you own anything that has been restored and now looks amazing? What is it? Please leave a comment.