How To Enjoy The True Happiness Found in Guilt Free Parenting

Posted on July 26, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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There’s an idea in my profession that PK’s (pastor’s kids) are the worst. That gloomy thought is not the result of a well documented 30 year study but an unfair idea that somebody came up with that went viral.

Imagine nicknaming your kid ‘Bruiser’ just because he’s a big boy. Will he not grow up associating himself with aggressiveness or putting a hurting on others. It’s an unfair, unkindly mark on a kid from the time he is little.

The truth is that parents have no clue how their kids are going to turn out.

There are some parents I know (in and out of ministry) whose kids turned out without a wrinkle.

I also know godly moms and dads (in and out of ministry) who struggle with a false sense of guilt because of their dysfunctional children.

“What happened?” mom sighs. “Are those kids really mine?” Dad asks. “We must have really goofed up along the way” they both cry out in pain.

Parenting is difficult enough but it gets worse when your children’s poor choices become a big pile of regret on your shoulders. God didn’t intend for you to tote that junk around.

So how can a mom or a dad deal with such uneasy painful feelings of false guilt? Perspective!

Pastor or not, if you’re struggling in this area, I want to give you an idea, an angle on parenting that I hope helps transform your mindset. It comes from a true story.

Sometime back a very Godly dad had 2 exemplary children. He provided them with everything they needed: a great place to live, food, and unselfish love. He spent time with them and counseled them on how to enjoy life to the fullest.

But his children rebelled against his advice and acted opposite to his counsel. Sadly, when they went down in a mess they took a whole bunch of others down with them.

You may have guessed that the dad I’m referring to is God… now hang in there with me for a few more moments.

God’s first kids, Adam and Even, messed up when the pair on the ground ate the apple on the tree. And as a result their disobedience was passed on to their kids. Then one day one of them, Cain, killed his brother Abel in anger.

What a heartache and disappointment for the parents!

Now I want to ask you a question which answer may change your life,

Was God a poor daddy to Adam and Eve? The answer is a resounding “NO.” Was He a bad grandpa?” Absolutely not.

God was the perfect Father but He was raising children who leaned towards the wrong… just like you and me.

Let that sink in for a moment. The kids wrongful behavior was not the perfect Dad’s doing.

All I’m saying is that you can be the best mom or dad in the world and yet have children who don’t chose to follow your leading and training. Remember that it also happened to God.

If you gave your children your best don’t let their poor decisions rob you from they joy of guilt free parenting.

Your heart may still hurt as you continue to pray for them and point them in the right direction but guilt should not be part of your equation.

God has a plan. Trust Him. Trust your children to the Lord as well and rest in Him.

How has trusting God helped you in your difficult situations?

How To Develop The Right Strategy For Winning At Pokemon Go

Posted on July 18, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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Millions are going crazy over Pokemon Go. Even people who say it’s a silly game are hooked and can’t get off it.

The basic thread of the game is for players to go around looking for virtual creatures called Pokemon in order to capture them. A Pokemon can appear anywhere at any time. The picture above is one I took inside my car (while I was parked) of a Zubat that was flying by the passenger seat.

Pokemon mania is sweeping millions and if you’ve joined the fray I want to share with you two ideas on how to win at Pokemon.

The strategy I’m sharing is not about how to catch the elusive creatures but about how to make the most of your time while hunting them down.

Everything you and I do involves a mindset. You can either go on a Pokemon hunt, spend hours at it, and end up with nothing more than virtual reality monsters stored somewhere in your phone or you can do that and something of value at the same time. I’d rather choose the latter (if I had the hours to give it).

I heard of a pet shelter who challenged anyone looking for Pokemon in their community that day to walk their pets at the same time. Seventy people responded!

In your brain (and mine) there’s something called the the limbic system. It interprets the emotional value of incoming stimuli. Depending on the limbic system’s interpretation of the stimuli, it either opens or closes access to the cortical function in the higher parts of the brain. https://www.envisionexperience.com/blog/the-science-of-learning-part-3-how-emotion-and-mindset-affect-learning#sthash.5ouc9g2M.dpuf

I’m not sure what all that means but if you add spiritual stimuli to your Pokemon exercise it can all become a spiritually growing experience.

Pokemon

You’re thinking, “Jorge, have you gone mad? Too many pork rinds finally clogged the blood flow to your cerebrum.” Hear me out.

I challenge you, as you seek out your next Pokemon, keep before you the thought that God wants you to seek Him with all your heart as well. God said, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 NLT)

The repeated idea that seeking God (while you are seeking Pokemon) is important will eventually stick and help you make Him your life’s priority.

Also, what if the next time you catch a Pokemon and experience the thrill of victory, you remember that God wants you to enjoy victories in Christ? Never forget that by faith you are more than a conqueror in anything you face!

Hey, enjoy the virtual reality of Pokemon but pair it up with the continued thought that in real life you are favored by God, loved, and triumphant. From there, a positive outcome will ensue.

Anticipating God’s visible and invisible blessings will keep you excited about the prospect of the future.

God put the idea out there for us to grab and run with: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

As I wrap up this blog I have 2 confessions to make. First, I was not able to catch that Zubat that appeared flying where my wife usually sits. Bummer! Second, I am not addicted to Pokemon Go, in fact I just started playing. But I am addicted to Jesus! He is more exciting that anything virtual out there or anything else for that matter.

What’s your thought on Pokemon Go? Please leave me a comment.

How To Be Restored When You Feel Badly Wrecked

Posted on July 11, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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I recently had the experience of restoring my daughter’s smashed-in rear bumper to its original position after a wreck she was involved in. This was done the old fashion way.

We tied the bumper to heavy chain, wrapped the chain to a big tree, and put the car on drive. After three taps, snaps, and a whiplash the job was done.

If you’re like me, sometimes you feel totally wrecked. You may have been on a collision course with someone at work and you finally met head on. Now you’re left with the emotional aches and pains from the encounter. Or you may have crashed right into the midlife crisis wall (as I did when I hit 30) and you realize that age is inevitably creeping up on you and that your dreams may never come to pass. Ouch! I’ve been there.

Feeling wrecked can be attributed to the result of poor choices, life in a bad relationship, and many other things.

The sheer ugliness of being wrecked within is that only you can feel the damage in your soul/heart. You need restoration.

My buddy Dylan owns Big Nasty Motorshop (photo above). He takes vehicles that are messed up or old and faded and with the skill of a plastic surgeon restores them back to amazing.

Being repaired from the inside out is not easy but doable. Here are some tips I’ve found helpful when I’m feeling badly wrecked that may work for you as well.

Get in touch with a true friend.

There are those you call friends that somehow make you feel worse about life. Stay away from them.

True friends, on the other hand, know everything about you and love you anyway. They make you laugh when your world looks bleak.

Someone said that true friends are those who, when you have made a fool of yourself, don’t think you have done a permanent job. Get in touch with a person like that. An unresolved wrecked feeling can lead into despair. Also, and most importantly,

Go to Jesus.

The Lord’s advice for the wrecked is radical,

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out…? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. (Matthew 11:28 The Message)

Jesus is like a huge Rock with a spiritual chain wrapped around to pull out of you whatever mental part of you that has been temporarily damaged.

The Lord is a Master life-craftsman with the tools and the talent. His heavenly shop should be called Big Gentle Restorations and Renewals. He will lovingly bring your mind back to focus and get you going once again. Go to Him with your dented hopes and dreams. One more thing,

Do something good and positive even if you don’t feel like it.

An negative outcome of feeling wrecked is the tendency to become inactive, of feeling that you can do nothing right.

I’ve had cars that were totaled never to be driven again. A couple of other ones were not drivable and in serious need of repair.

Concerning life and feeling down, remember that,

Inactivity because of negativity results in zero productivity (Tweet that). And we are never more miserable than when we feel like junk and of no value to anyone.

Refuse to slump down on your chair thinking, “What’s the use?” Force yourself into doing something that’s worthwhile.

Feeling badly wrecked may be totally normal but remaining that way is entirely unacceptable. Get restored and move forward.

Do you own anything that has been restored and now looks amazing? What is it? Please leave a comment.

How To Have An Awesome Monday After Sunday Church

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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Monday is here! For me as a pastor, the end of Sunday church results in a sigh of relief. I can only tell you about me because everyone is different, but after spending many hours during the week researching, studying, thinking, praying, typing, reading, editing, reading, and editing some more. Preaching the sermon is the absolute climax of my week.

When someone thanks me for the sermon on the way out I usually respond by thanking the Lord that He spoke to that person’s heart and also say, “I’m just glad it’s over.”

Maybe my stress comes from knowing God’s stringent requirements for those who teach His Word. The apostle James wrote that teachers will be judged more strictly than others (James 3:1 CEV). It also happens soon after I’m done speaking that I go through a range of emotions from discouragement to inadequacy (welcome to the pastor’s life). I even apologize to Lord for anything I said or did that didn’t please Him.

Maybe other preachers don’t go through what I go through, maybe it’s just weird me.

So, can pastors have an awesome Monday after Sunday church? For that matter, can Christians do the same? I think so. The following ideas can prove to be helpful to you as they’ve been to me.

On Monday…

1. Take a break from studying.

On Monday morning our church cleaning team shows up. They are a group of volunteers that vacuum, mop, clean mirrors and windows, do bathrooms and make them smell pretty, arrange pew Bibles, pens, and offering envelopes, etc. This small group of servants are amazing. They love the Lord and His church.

On Monday mornings we chat a while and when everyone gets to work I strap on a backpack vacuum cleaner and help out. I actually look like a Ghostbuster. You may be thinking, “Don’t you have something ministry related to do with your time?” Answer: Yes. But I rather not…if I can help it.

I get to pray while I vacuum (by the way, my buddy Johnny does most of the vacuuming, I just chip in) and sweat and joke around with my peeps. It’s a great break from what I do every day.

If you find yourself stressed out during your week, take a part of one day to do something out of the ordinary.

People who don’t tend to relax tend to break down. Remember that you can only stretch a rubber band so far before it snaps. (Tweet that)

2. Leave the results of your preaching (or what you do) to God.

Whatever you do (job, caring for others, leisure), when you do your best for the Lord, know that it is Him who will make you both productive and successful.

3. Remember that God handsomely rewards faithfulness.

You don’t have to be a preacher to think about this one. He is faithful and will compensate His own for their faith efforts.

4. Keep next Sunday sermon in the back of your mind.

My friend Dwight, an evangelist turned pastor, says, “The worst thing about being a pastor is that Sundays keep coming.”

On Mondays pastors need to keep their thoughts for next Sunday in the back of their mind, waaay back there somewhere.

5. Read some.

Take time out to read on Mondays. It’s relaxing plus reading/learning keeps you fresh. Dr. Howard Hendricks once said, “Read and learn so you can feed your people from a living stream, not from a stagnant pond.”

Mondays can be tough, but we must find creative ways to make them awesome.

What has worked for you? How do you make Mondays after Sunday church great? Please leave me a comment.

5 Reasons why you want to appreciate the value of others

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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The other day I walked and found a tall stack of greeting cards wrapped in a bundle on my desk.

I asked myself, “What is this? It’s not my birthday or my anniversary.” So I quickly tore open one of those cards. It was from a church member. He was thanking me for being who I am. I ripped open a second one, it was from a family expressing their love for me. The rest of the cards had similar caring messages some going into specifics about how that person felt I had made a difference in his/her life.

I was blindsided by appreciation and overcome with emotion. I had to pull my seat back and cry.

Sadly many of us have settled into society’s mold where criticism and disapproval is the norm. We are quick to dish out our dissatisfaction with someone at a moment’s notice. (Please refer back to the preacher’s head on the picture above…someone obviously threw a raw egg at him in displeasure)

Seldom do we take time to actually thank and support those who make our lives worth living.

How about making ‘Don’t Hate, Appreciate‘ your daily personal slogan?

If you’re a leader understand the power of appreciation. Recognizing and thanking people makes you approachable. I’ve met leaders, even pastors, with the personality of a sandpaper. Their people are afraid of engaging them.

Appreciating others opens a door to connection and communication that would have remained closed otherwise.

Appreciation also builds a team mentality. It reminds you and your people that you all are working together for one common goal.

Pastors and leaders in any field often tend to be Lone Rangers thinking that they ought to do everything themselves. But that should not be how we operate. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto!

We all need each other and appreciation is a great way of showing it.

Gratitude and recognition of others need to be part of your ministry manifesto. Besides, people who are often recognized tend to work hard and do their best at all times. It is a fact that people who feel appreciated are more productive and effective than those who don’t.

Appreciation is a way of building morale in your company.

The owner of the Orlando Magic and founder of Amway products is a billionaire by the name of Rich DeVoss. He wrote a book called Ten Powerful Phrases for Positive People. Seven out of the ten phrases have to do with appreciation:

“You can do it” – that’s empowering

“I believe in you” – that’s encouraging

“I’m proud of you” – that’s ego-building

“Thank you” – that’s edifying

“I need you” – that’s endearing

“I trust you” – that’s epic

“I respect you” – that’s enriching

How about showing your appreciation for someone today?

One more thought, making a big deal about what others do not only blesses them but also keeps before you how amazing people are.

Remember that the bottom line of what you’re trying to accomplish is never as important as the people who help get you there. Recognize them. High five them. Fist bump them. Thank them.

Those greeting cards on my desk made such a difference in me on that day and that week. It is still making an impact in me. My people had taken the apostle Paul’s words to heart: “So encourage each other and build each other up.” 1Thessalonians 5:11. To them I say, “Thank you! You are the best!”

Is appreciation easy for you to do or hard? Have you applied this leadership principle in your career? What were the results? Please feel free to leave me a comment.

How To Find Ultimate Peace In Your Life Storm

Posted on June 13, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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In the Gulf Coast of Florida furious storms form in a hurry! The deep thunder rolls in the distance, winds pick up in a hurry, waves crash on shore, the lightning show becomes visible, and you look for cover. When this happens there’s an intense desire in me to capture some intense pics but better judgment often prevails and I stay safe indoors until it all passes by.

About an hour and a half from where this picture was taken a seriously bad storm formed in the city of Orlando, Florida, at Pulse Nightclub. And the light show was not the electrical kind but one coming from the weapons of an assassin.

Terror ensued as people ran for safety but it was not to be for all, 49 died (not counting the gunman) and 53 were wounded. The worse massacre in America history.

All of a sudden and out of nowhere the worst storm of life unleashed on many as family members received the dreaded news that their loved ones were dead. My eyes filled with tears; my heart totally broke for those facing the storm. Then it dawned on me that people I know and love could have been there that night and part of the body count.

I thank the Lord that those I love are safe today but wonder how anyone can overcome the pain that comes from the whirlwind of events from that night at Pulse Nightclub.

I learned a long time ago that when appropriate human words are missing the perfect Word of God can make all the difference in the world to someone facing a furious life-storm.

God’s thoughts in the Bible supernaturally fill the void in our souls that have been left there by heartache and loss. (Tweet that)

Maybe your storm that has nothing to do with someone’s sudden death but you are still hurting and wondering what’s next for you.

My dad’s favorite Bible is one I encourage you to internalize, digest, and make a part of your daily life. Write it down on a sticky and place it somewhere visible to you throughout your day:

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)

I may not understand why bad things happen to good people but I understand that there’s a promise here, a promise of God’s loving presence and power when we need Him most. He will lift us when we are fallen and breathe courage in us when the wind’s been taken off our sails and the rug’s been pulled from under our feet.

Gandhi once said:

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.” (Quotes about Victory; http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/victory)

History has also taught us that Jesus Christ is the embodiment of Truth and Love. (John 14:6)

In your storm turn to Him in faith. Know that the Lord is so close to you that if you could you see Him, His shadow would be on you.

God wants to wipe your tears, let Him. Talk to Him. Hang on to Him with every bit of emotional strength you have left.

Orlando our prayers are with you!

How to effectively handle the death of a loved friend

Posted on June 7, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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I recently had the honor of being present when a dear friend went to heaven. If you’ve ever had that rare privilege you know all too well the mix of emotions involved: tears, times of silence and prayer, and even though rare, light moments of laughter when a fun memory of the deceased is shared by those present.

There’s nothing like a death to remind us of the reality of our own mortality. All of a sudden what the wise man wrote makes lots of sense,

“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone;
the living should take this to heart.” Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NIV)

Of course we like partying more than sadness and as a result many live as if they will never have to face eternity.

The one inevitable fact of life is that all of us are going to meet our Maker one day. We each need to be ready for that moment.

The only good thing about this bad thing called death is that it gives us access to an afterlife in heaven.

Maybe we ought to look at dying as one of those necessary evils we all must go through in order to enter and enjoy the amazing world God has created for those who love Him.

And by all accounts of the imagination heaven is an incredible place!

The worst day in heaven will be a thousand times better than the greatest day on earth. (Feel free to Tweet that).

Why have a limited view of the eternal place our limitless God has prepared? (I devote an entire chapter to heaven in my new book Hecklers In Your Choir: Silencing The Voices That Hold You Back – yet to be published)

The only way to face the death of someone you love is with faith that this life is not all there is and that you’re going to see your friend again one day. That’s the kind of hope that keeps us going.

My friend was a faithful believer in Jesus Christ and that made his passing much easier to handle.

As his family and friends gathered around him one last time I was struck with the thought that I have to really make spending time with my loved ones a priority.

In over thirty years of ministry and dealing with people not once have I heard someone at the end of life say, “I wish I would have spent more time at the office.” No! What people regret most is the time they wasted on the unimportant.

YOLO! (You Only Live Once) Be intentional about squeezing the juice out of every moment you have with those you love.

Leonardo da Vinci had this amazing insight into life. He said that the average human looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance, and talks without thinking.

That can be me, oblivious to everything other than what I am focused on. What’s your heart fixed on? Your work? The here and now? Profit?

How about, beginning today, you start making God and family your absolute priority?

Make your moments count! Call, text, send a random pic, email someone you love and live knowing there’s a heaven to gain one day.

So, what do you think? How do you handle the death of people you love? Please leave me a comment.

Perspective!

Posted on May 31, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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I have a two word definition for perspective: Getting it!

Perspective is the moment you gain a certain insight, an outlook into life because of what someone says or because of something that happens.

Take the picture above, for example, it reminds me that life is not always about the things you have but about the times you have with those you love. I get it!

We went to visit my brother Hector and his family in Houston, Texas several years ago. His new house was huge (everything’s bigger in Texas). It had very high ceilings, and in the backyard a beautiful lawn with a privacy fence, a pool, and a jacuzzi. The house had a big kitchen, a theater room upstairs with a huge screen and a booming sound system. It also had a game room. The place was awesome!

We had a great time with him and his family but when we returned home and I walked back into our house I thought, “Man, I wish I had a house like his.”

Our home was built in 1960 and it’s kind of small but it’s been our happy home for many years. However it is nothing like my brother’s picture perfect house.

A couple of years later Hector and his family came down for a visit. In one of our conversations his wife said to me, “I wish our house like yours.” Perspective!

In ministry its easy to get caught up in numbers and size of church. And, as the average church in America is small, ministers often wish for bigger and better (me included). Guilt also plays a part in the mind of the man of God as he wonders where he has failed to accomplish what others have.

That kind of thinking also plagues people of all walks of life and careers. We have bought into the mentality that others have it better than us and that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But is it really?

I’ve heard it said that bigger things give bigger headaches. Allow me to offer you a new outlook on life.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence especially over the septic tank. Perspective! (you can Tweet that)

Some years ago I was frustrated that our congregation had not grown like others. I felt like everything I did was like hitting my head against the wall. Then at a conference I heard a pastor of a mega-church say that his happiest days in ministry had happened in a church where the membership was not even 300. Perspective!

If you’re in ministry keep in mind that your efforts do not go unnoticed. Even if you don’t get to see the results you want down here never forget that God’s reward for you will be mind blowing up there.

If you’re not in ministry keep in mind that your faithfulness to the Lord will reap treasures in heaven far beyond your understanding. The apostle Paul wrote,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1Corinthians 2:9 NLT) Perspective!

The old story of a missionary coming home from a lifetime of service applies. His ship was about to hit harbor back in the states. Aboard was also government official. Upon arrival at port there was a band playing music for the dignitary. There confetti everywhere and people holding ‘Welcome Home’ signs. As the old missionary walked passed it all he was saddened and thought, “Lord, there’s a great big party for that man. I have served you faithfully these last 40 years and there’s not even one person waiting for me to say “Welcome home.” Then a voice within reminded him, “My child, you’re not home yet.” Perspective!

Can you share a time when your eyes were opened by perspective? Please leave me a comment.

Minister of Etcetera: 6 Reasons To Feel Good About Your Value

Posted on May 24, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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Recently someone at my wife’s business stopped and asked her, “So, your husband is a pastor but what does he actually do?”

I am amazed at how many people think that all ministers do is get to church on Sunday morning, stand on the podium and start speaking on whatever subject comes to mind at the time. Nothing could be further from the truth.

But its easy for ministers to buy into that kind of mentality and start thinking that all they know to do is preach and that they are at a disadvantage in the business world. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was one of those people who at one time thought,

“Man, if I ever get out of the ministry I am doomed to fail. I’ve known nothing other than being a minister for most of my life.“

My brother, a successful business man, heard me putting myself down like that some years ago and said, “Jorge, with the experience you’ve had you’d be able to do anything else in the world you set your heart to do.” He went on to share with me 6 reasons why ministers are so valuable in the eyes of the business world. I want to share those with you:

You know how to address others – Whatever you do, ministry or otherwise, if it involves being in front of others you’ve managed to overcome one of the greatest fears in life. That kind of confidence is rare and priceless.
You are a people mover – I’ve heard business managers and owners often complain how they can’t get their employees to do quality work. When a minister is able to get volunteers to do the needed tasks that make God’s church function smoothly it’s an amazing accomplishment.
You are familiar with management and budgets – Having a decent handle on administration and financials is critical and desperately needed in any business.
You are a vision caster – Helping people find true love, purpose, meaning, and satisfaction in the Lord meets serious human basic needs.
You are a counselor – Listening is a rare skill nowadays. Others really appreciate someone taking the time to pay attention to them.
You know the value of servant leadership – People will follow someone they can relate to. A minister is not above anyone else but a servant to everyone else. Approaching life with humble strength will take you far.

My brother opened my eyes to a certain value I didn’t know I had. The truth is that we tend to see value in everyone and everything else but ourselves.

When people ask me today what I do for a living and they press me to know more about what exactly all that ministry entails I simply tell them that I am a minister of etcetera doing whatever is needed.

If you’re a minister you are loaded with potential!

If you’re not a minister you are loaded with potential as well.

I’m sure that if you sat down and thought about it a bit you’d come up with several areas you’re good at. Like a Swiss army knife you are capable of doing several functions well. Start thinking in those terms. Raise your value in your own eyes and great things will happen!

In what ways have you been able to recognize your own personal value? Please leave me a comment.

Welcome to My Blog

Posted on May 19, 2016 by Jorge Acevedo

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Welcome to my blog. My name is Jorge Acevedo and my goal is to encourage ministers, their wives, and their people. If you need some inspiration then this blog is for you.

I plan to post at least once a week on Mondays. I welcome your thoughts in the comments section. I will read each one and reply as I am able.

If you would like for me to address a certain topic or situation please leave me a comment and I’ll do my best to respond. I look forward to connecting with you!

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