Tag Archives: discouraged

How To Be Restored When You Feel Badly Wrecked

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I recently had the experience of restoring my daughter’s smashed-in rear bumper to its original position after a wreck she was involved in. This was done the old fashion way.

We tied the bumper to heavy chain, wrapped the chain to a big tree, and put the car on drive. After three taps, snaps, and a whiplash the job was done.

If you’re like me, sometimes you feel totally wrecked. You may have been on a collision course with someone at work and you finally met head on. Now you’re left with the emotional aches and pains from the encounter. Or you may have crashed right into the midlife crisis wall (as I did when I hit 30) and you realize that age is inevitably creeping up on you and that your dreams may never come to pass. Ouch! I’ve been there.

Feeling wrecked can be attributed to the result of poor choices, life in a bad relationship, and many other things.

The sheer ugliness of being wrecked within is that only you can feel the damage in your soul/heart. You need restoration.

My buddy Dylan owns Big Nasty Motorshop (photo above). He takes vehicles that are messed up or old and faded and with the skill of a plastic surgeon restores them back to amazing.

Being repaired from the inside out is not easy but doable. Here are some tips I’ve found helpful when I’m feeling badly wrecked that may work for you as well.

Get in touch with a true friend.

There are those you call friends that somehow make you feel worse about life. Stay away from them.

True friends, on the other hand, know everything about you and love you anyway. They make you laugh when your world looks bleak.

Someone said that true friends are those who, when you have made a fool of yourself, don’t think you have done a permanent job. Get in touch with a person like that. An unresolved wrecked feeling can lead into despair. Also, and most importantly,

Go to Jesus.

The Lord’s advice for the wrecked is radical,

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out…? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. (Matthew 11:28 The Message)

Jesus is like a huge Rock with a spiritual chain wrapped around to pull out of you whatever mental part of you that has been temporarily damaged.

The Lord is a Master life-craftsman with the tools and the talent. His heavenly shop should be called Big Gentle Restorations and Renewals. He will lovingly bring your mind back to focus and get you going once again. Go to Him with your dented hopes and dreams. One more thing,

Do something good and positive even if you don’t feel like it.

An negative outcome of feeling wrecked is the tendency to become inactive, of feeling that you can do nothing right.

I’ve had cars that were totaled never to be driven again. A couple of other ones were not drivable and in serious need of repair.

Concerning life and feeling down, remember that,

Inactivity because of negativity results in zero productivity (Tweet that). And we are never more miserable than when we feel like junk and of no value to anyone.

Refuse to slump down on your chair thinking, “What’s the use?” Force yourself into doing something that’s worthwhile.

Feeling badly wrecked may be totally normal but remaining that way is entirely unacceptable. Get restored and move forward.

Do you own anything that has been restored and now looks amazing? What is it? Please leave a comment.

Perspective!

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I have a two word definition for perspective: Getting it!

Perspective is the moment you gain a certain insight, an outlook into life because of what someone says or because of something that happens.

Take the picture above, for example, it reminds me that life is not always about the things you have but about the times you have with those you love. I get it!

We went to visit my brother Hector and his family in Houston, Texas several years ago. His new house was huge (everything’s bigger in Texas). It had very high ceilings, and in the backyard a beautiful lawn with a privacy fence, a pool, and a jacuzzi. The house had a big kitchen, a theater room upstairs with a huge screen and a booming sound system. It also had a game room. The place was awesome!

We had a great time with him and his family but when we returned home and I walked back into our house I thought, “Man, I wish I had a house like his.” 

Our home was built in 1960 and it’s kind of small but it’s been our happy home for many years. However it is nothing like my brother’s picture perfect house.

A couple of years later Hector and his family came down for a visit. In one of our conversations his wife said to me, “I wish our house like yours.” Perspective!

In ministry its easy to get caught up in numbers and size of church. And, as the average church in America is small, ministers often wish for bigger and better (me included). Guilt also plays a part in the mind of the man of God as he wonders where he has failed to accomplish what others have.

That kind of thinking also plagues people of all walks of life and careers. We have bought into the mentality that others have it better than us and that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But is it really?

I’ve heard it said that bigger things give bigger headaches. Allow me to offer you a new outlook on life.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence especially over the septic tank. Perspective! (you can Tweet that)

Some years ago I was frustrated that our congregation had not grown like others. I felt like everything I did was like hitting my head against the wall. Then at a conference I heard a pastor of a mega-church say that his happiest days in ministry had happened in a church where the membership was not even 300. Perspective!

If you’re in ministry keep in mind that your efforts do not go unnoticed. Even if you don’t get to see the results you want down here never forget that God’s reward for you will be mind blowing up there.

If you’re not in ministry keep in mind that your faithfulness to the Lord will reap treasures in heaven far beyond your understanding. The apostle Paul wrote,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1Corinthians 2:9 NLT) Perspective!

The old story of a missionary coming home from a lifetime of service applies. His ship was about to hit harbor back in the states. Aboard was also government official. Upon arrival at port there was a band playing music for the dignitary. There confetti everywhere and people holding ‘Welcome Home’ signs. As the old missionary walked passed it all he was saddened and thought, “Lord, there’s a great big party for that man. I have served you faithfully these last 40 years and there’s not even one person waiting for me to say “Welcome home.” Then a voice within reminded him, “My child, you’re not home yet.” Perspective!

Can you share a time when your eyes were opened by perspective? Please leave me a comment.

 

 

 

Minister of Etcetera: 6 Reasons To Feel Good About Your Value

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Recently someone at my wife’s business stopped and asked her, “So, your husband is a pastor but what does he actually do?”

I am amazed at how many people think that all ministers do is get to church on Sunday morning, stand on the podium and start speaking on whatever subject comes to mind at the time. Nothing could be further from the truth.

But its easy for ministers to buy into that kind of mentality and start thinking that all they know to do is preach and that they are at a disadvantage in the business world. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was one of those people who at one time thought,

“Man, if I ever get out of the ministry I am doomed to fail. I’ve known nothing other than being a minister for most of my life.“

My brother, a successful business man, heard me putting myself down like that some years ago and said, “Jorge, with the experience you’ve had you’d be able to do anything else in the world you set your heart to do.” He went on to share with me 6 reasons why ministers are so valuable in the eyes of the business world. I want to share those with you:

  1. You know how to address others – Whatever you do, ministry or otherwise, if it involves being in front of others you’ve managed to overcome one of the greatest fears in life. That kind of confidence is rare and priceless.
  2. You are a people mover – I’ve heard business managers and owners often complain how they can’t get their employees to do quality work. When a minister is able to get volunteers to do the needed tasks that make God’s church function smoothly it’s an amazing accomplishment.
  3. You are familiar with management and budgets – Having a decent handle on administration and financials is critical and desperately needed in any business.
  4. You are a vision caster – Helping people find true love, purpose, meaning, and satisfaction in the Lord meets serious human basic needs.
  5. You are a counselor – Listening is a rare skill nowadays. Others really appreciate someone taking the time to pay attention to them.
  6. You know the value of servant leadership – People will follow someone they can relate to. A minister is not above anyone else but a servant to everyone else. Approaching life with humble strength will take you far.

My brother opened my eyes to a certain value I didn’t know I had. The truth is that we tend to see value in everyone and everything else but ourselves.

When people ask me today what I do for a living and they press me to know more about what exactly all that ministry entails I simply tell them that I am a minister of etcetera doing whatever is needed.

If you’re a minister you are loaded with potential!

If you’re not a minister you are loaded with potential as well.

I’m sure that if you sat down and thought about it a bit you’d come up with several areas you’re good at. Like a Swiss army knife you are capable of doing several functions well. Start thinking in those terms. Raise your value in your own eyes and great things will happen!

In what ways have you been able to recognize your own personal value? Please leave me a comment.