I was leaving Popeyes (best fried chicken in town) and caught a glance of the little frog in the picture above. Now, I don’t have a love affair with frogs; as a kid I never enjoyed holding or manhandling frogs. I’m just not a frog person. They may taste like chicken but I’d rather not mess with them in any way.
This tiny frog, though, grabbed my heart. It seemed so lonely in that great big tree.
Giving animals human qualities is called anthropomorphizing and I may have been feeling some sort of poetic melancholy when I captured the scene with my lens but loneliness in humans is serious business.
Of course lonely people often isolate themselves but you can find lonely people even in a crowd.
I read somewhere recently that over 60% of those who report being lonely are married.
The social media explosion is obviously a direct result of people wanting to interact with others.
God created us for relationships. But when those are lacking, when there’s a disconnect with others, our psyche reacts to it…often times in all the wrong ways:
- Staying away from others
- Thinking others don’t really care about us
- Being negative about life in general
- Becoming skeptical of our abilities and positive traits (we think we have very little to offer others)
My mind goes back to the last letter the apostle Paul wrote when he was living in a dungeon awaiting execution in Rome. His words give us a glimpse into his heart,
Timothy, please come as soon as you can. Demas has deserted me… only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.12 I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. 13 When you come, be sure to bring the coat I left with Carpus at Troas. Also bring my books, and especially my papers. 2Timothy 4:9-10a, 11-13 (NLT)
Some try to minimize Paul’s basic human need for companionship by laying on some thick theology to those simple words, but let’s not go there for now.
Simply speaking, Paul wanted renewed closeness with his good friend Timothy. That’s why he asked Tim to hustle and get there. Paul also wanted a coat for warmth in that dungeon he called home and something to read while in jail (no one really knows for certain which parchments Paul requested).
When I’m feeling lonely I need to reach out to someone I love. You do the same! Refuse your inner drive to disengage from the rest of the world. Call, text, email and interact. If you’re married, your spouse may lend the listening ear you need.
Just opening up a little with someone you trust can make such a difference. Deep conversations can be reserved for a later time.
Also, make God’s church part of your security blanket. A sweet fellowship can warm up a heart that’s growing cold in a hurry.
Through the years there have been many times when I didn’t feel like going to church on Sunday. But I’m the pastor… so I show up. One hundred percent of the time the Holy Spirit uses someone or something during the worship hour to embrace my heart and remind me of how much Jesus loves me.
One more thing, when you start feeling down, find something positive and fun to read. It’s part of what I do. Let the Bible be your first option. Its stories are literally out of this world. You can also read a book from your fave author.
Don’t remain a lonely tiny frog on a tree. You’re much too valuable and your smile much needed.
I realize that what I just shared are very basic thoughts. Loneliness is a deep subject that requires lots of work and sometimes professional counseling.
Can you share any other simple ideas on dealing with such difficult emotions? Please leave me a comment.
Growing up, the nature of my dad’s job kept us moving all over the country as one station he worked at closed and he had to transfer to another office in another city. My two older brothers had already finished high school, and were getting on with their lives, so the moves didn’t affect them too much, but it was especially tough on me.
I started my senior year of high school in a different school in a different state. Usually, by the time you begin your senior year of high school, you’ve made solid friendships and semi to permanent relationships which may last the length of your life.
Not so with me! That senior year started out as the loneliest and discouraging time of my life. I knew nobody there; and for the first part of the year I used to walk from class to class with my head down, not looking at anybody.
Even though my walk with Jesus wasn’t very strong, Jesus knew I needed a relationship, a friend at that point in my life. He convicted me to stop feeling sorry for myself, raise my head up, look around, and start living my life.
The second part of the year went much better. I made a few friends, one good one, and finally
graduated. It was a spiritual turning point in my life, and just like you said, Jorge, it reminded me of just how much Jesus loves me. How much He loves all of us!
I didn’t realize it too much at that time, but looking back on it now, I know that Jesus was watching out for me.
What an awesome God we have who tells us in JOHN 10:10: “…..I HAVE COME THAT THEY MAY HAVE LIFE, AND HAVE IT TO THE FULL.” If you’re lonely, Jesus can fill that lonely void !
Great thoughts, Jim. Thanks for sharing that powerful story.