Whenever I meet a pastor and his wife for the first time, I often ask her, “How are you doing at that church? How are they treating you?”
One of the most misunderstood and undervalued people around is the pastor’s wife.
Pastor’s may have a tough job but she carries a heavier load. She sees him struggle behind closed doors, senses his broken heart, shares his tears and must keep it all inside by necessity. There’s too much at risk in opening up to just anyone. So she takes her place on Sundays as usual and smiles.
Do you ever wonder how many hearts are breaking behind a smile on any given Sunday morning?
In many churches the pastor’s wife has a target on her back… and so do her children. My wife and I have experienced it. Thank God for churches that love and protect their pastor and his wife. We are in one of them at the present!
Maybe you’re not a pastor’s wife but you too know the hurt I’m referring to. You’ve been dragging around open emotional wounds that make your skies seem gray.
Of course I’m not necessarily referring to deeply-seated issues of the heart that may require professional help. I’m thinking more about what someone said or did that set you off that you can’t shake off.
I have a faint memory of a classic cartoon family that had a lightning storm cloud following them wherever they went. Is that you?
The apostle Paul wrote a statement that could clear the forecast in your life today and every day. He wrote,
‘For if a man [or woman] is in Christ he [she] becomes a new person altogether—the past is finished and gone, everything has become fresh and new.’ (2Corinthians 5:17, PHILLIPS, italics mine)
Read that passage again slowly please… let it sink deep. Internalize it. Digest it.
What if we began each day thinking that there’s something fresh and new waiting for us? It would result fresh new confidence and enthusiasm about what lies ahead.
But what do you do with those nagging thoughts eating you up inside?
Here’s something you can do that gives you a visual about dumping what bugs you so you can enjoy life the way God designed it.
First, on a piece of paper specifically name what is eating you up inside. You could simply write something like,
Lord, I’ve been holding on to ______. By your name and in your strength I am letting go of it. Help me, Lord.
Second, pull that page off your notebook and crumple it into a ball.
Stump on it, rip it into itty bitty pieces if you like.
Third, throw that trash in the trash. Let that crumpled paper make friends with last night’s chicken bones and the week old stale bread pudding you had to chuck because no one liked it.
Fourth, take the trash bag outside with a prayer,
Lord, thank you for making me new in Jesus. Please give me a fresh start. I don’t want to hold on to this anymore.
Fifth, if you’re home when trash pick up reaches your house, wave it good bye.
Sixth, next time your mind wants to go back there (to the trash), tell your mind where to go, back to your new you.
Your past is where it needs to be, in the past. Leave it there. Don’t hold on to negative feelings. Let them go so God can replace them with His joy.
How do you get rid of what bugs you? Please leave me a comment.
Well said Jorge!! ??. All too often the struggles a pastor’s wife goes through is forgotten or minimalized. I will be sharing with our church these wise words.
Love you my special friend ❤️
Thank you, Kim!
I love point 5, Jorge, when the trash pick-up comes, wave it good-bye! LOL! I remember several years ago we had an evangelist, David Ring, speak at our church one evening. Even though he had cerebral palsy, he did not let that slow him down or hinder his witnessing. In fact, he embraced his affliction and showed everyone that God can use anyone in any situation to further His kingdom.
Throughout his message, he referred to the problems we deal with or the things that bug us as ‘sticks, or branches’. As the evening closed, Mr. Ring challenged the congregation to pray and ‘lay those branches’ at Jesus’ feet. In other words, give your problems up to God, and don’t pick that branch up again until Jesus tells you to. As my wife, Sandy, and I were at that time going through some tough years with our daughter, it was exactly what we needed to hear. What a tremendous relief we felt when we prayed that prayer! As my spiritual growth continues, I find myself surrendering more and more of my problems to God. Whether they are large problems, or small annoyances, I let them know that I have a BIG God who is always there for me!
I remember David Ring as well. Surrendering to God…great way to put it!
Wow Pastor, great food for thought. I’m digesting right now an will follow the steps you laid out, write it down, roll it up , throw away, say Good-By. Will remind my mind where to go, yepper to the new me. Great Words of wisdom, Thanks. We both love you an Doreen. God Bless
Thank you so very much! We love you too as well!!